Spark-Poof!

I won't generally be posting here over the weekends much. I have both other blogs to attend to and, well, a life. I'm also generally using this as more of a topic blog than I normally do, and sometimes browsing through the news for stuff I want to comment on here can be depressing as hell.

On that note, some amusing news I came across instead: Blaze burns firehouse. Apparently the firemen were busy out fighting a fire when an electrical panel in their Chicago fire station went all spark-poof and lit the place up. Now wouldn't that just suck? You go busting your ass to fight a fire and then come back to find the fire station burning? Ouch!

I just find that one ironically amusing.

The Cold Shoulder of Capitalism

The recent cold here in the Chicagoland area, and this article has me thinking about other people who are putting a price on human life. Those companies who provide us with some of the basic essentials that are needed in today's society. Heat, is an excellent example right now as temperatures dip into the frigid. But some people are having their heat turned off for non-payment.

This article, at the same site, mentions that as of December 23rd there had already been 8 cold-related deaths in cook county. An article at another site talks of one this year, but I haven't been able to find stats for how many have died in January, while our temperatures have been dramatically dipping.

Now, apparently public aid is trying to do something to help people get their heat turned back on. That's all well and good, but it's obviously not working well enough. There are certain basic needs that a human being has - food, water, and shelter! In my opinion, shelter in this day and age should include heat and/or air circulation such to keep one from freezing or sweltering to death! It sounds like the shelters are full up. So what are the rest of the people without heat supposed to do? Those shelters are supposed to be for those without homes at all, aren't they? Because the people who do have homes are supposed to have heat!

But, if you can't afford it, you're SOL. Oh, and it's all well and good if you managed to scrape enough together to pay an outrageous gas bill, but if you couldn't pay the electric then you are still screwed if any part of your heater needs electricity to work. So there's another pocket you have to line in order to survive the winter. Or you could just pay an outrageous electric bill instead if you have electric heat.

We've "evolved" beyond being able to just huddle around the fireplace. We rely upon the technical marvels we've created to supposedly make our lives easier. But we also seem to be charging for those technical marvels even after we've taken them forward to the point where we can't do without them.

Apparently it is no longer "survival of the fittest" in our society, it is now "survival of the greediest" instead. I didn't know the rights to "Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness" came with a clause - "assuming you can afford it."

Somebody turn up the heat for crying out loud. Or else throw open the doors to the office buildings of the gas and electric companies and public aid and let the people without heat sleep there until their heat has been restored. How's that for a solution? Maybe they could sleep at City Hall until the Mayor does something about it? I'll bet they've got heat.

The Price of Human Life

Well, we wouldn't want kt to stop thinking this was his "fan blog" now, would we? hrmf.

I want to know how it is he can put a price on human life. According to a recent post, he's charging 25 grand for "offing" some rapist. How does he come to that number I wonder? Carolina appropriately pipes in by saying the value of a human being's life would be "priceless" in her view. I tend to agree.

So how does one decide what to "charge" for such a "service"? Is it based on the cost of the expenses to do the job plus an upcharge based on cost of living? Or is it some random number plucked out of kt's head? I'd like to know.

So here, kt, measure me. I'm a married, mother of a small child (under age 2) who lives in the suburbs of Chicago. I haven't committed any crimes. Hell, I haven't even had a speeding ticket in more than ten years! I tend to be quiet, but friendly to those people who are outgoing towards me. I do the shopping once or twice a week, but most of the time I'm at home with my son. In the evenings, my husband drives home from work and we have dinner and play with our son. We'll watch some television or do stuff on our computers before he goes to bed. Sometimes we'll even (gasp!) have sex. After he goes to sleep, I'm usually up alone until midnight. I have a reasonably simple, ordinary life. I haven't hurt anyone.

But, should someone want me dead for some odd reason, how much would it be to kill me, kt? How much is my life worth in your eyes?

Answer me that, and then I'll let you know how much value yours has in mine.

C'mon, tell me who are you?!

Found this over at Carolina's Blog, and had to give it a try. I am entirely unsurprised by the result:

I am a Hippy



Which America Hating Minority Are You?

Take More Robert & Tim Quizzes
Watch Robert & Tim Cartoons

I hear 70's tunes dancing about in my head now. Coo-coo-ka-choo. I guess I was born a couple decades too late. lol.

Of others who dreamed

Tomorrow, Martin Luther King, Jr. would turn 76 if he were still alive. I took the time this morning to read a couple of his speeches and some of the other info from the web site I linked above - the MLK Papers Project at Stanford University. I may just be some white girl from the suburbs of Chicago, but I can still say that some of those speeches resonate with me. From the little I read it seems as if he wasn't just talking about the black community - he was talking about all of mankind. He was definitely a man ahead of his time.

I wonder what he'd think of the world today? If he'd lived, I'd bet good money that America would be a far different place because of it.

Added note: for those in the Chicago area, I came across this article about a museum exhibit on Martin Luther King, Jr. that just opened sounds interesting. I have to wonder why they didn't keep it to 76 photographs though, instead of 78. One for each year since his birth would have seemed more symbolic you'd think.

Sorry, but you can't "afford" to be sick right now

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, there were 282,909,885 people living in the United States as of their 2003 census count. They mention that the data does not include people in dorms, institutions, and other group quarters, so for easier math we'll round up instead of down - 283 million.

According to the a report done by Jeanne Lambrew, senior fellow at the Center for American Progress, there are 45 million uninsured Americans. They got their information from the census bureau too, they just sum it up easier. They've got a neat bunch of comparisons to put that number in perspective. They didn't compare it, however, to the amount of people currently unemployed. I looked to the pdf file found here (top link) for some more info:

• The percentage and number of people covered by employment based health insurance fell between 2002 and 2003, from 61.3 percent and 175.3 million to 60.4 percent and 174.0 million.


• The percentage and number of people covered by government health insurance programs increased between 2002 and 2003, from 25.7 percent and 73.6 million to 26.6 percent and 76.8 million, driven by increases in the percentage and number of people covered by Medicaid (from 11.6 percent and 33.2 million to 12.4 percent and 35.6 million) and Medicare (from 13.4 percent and 38.4 million to 13.7 percent and 39.5 million).


• The proportion of children who were without health insurance did not change, remaining at 11.4 percent of all children, or 8.4 million, in 2003. With an uninsured rate at 19.2 percent, children in poverty were more likely to be uninsured than all children.

They also mention that the number of people with health insurance coverage increased by 1 million in 2003 to 84.4 percent of the population. However, they estimated that the number of people without insurance was up .4 percent - 15.6 in 2003 from 15.2 in 2002. The population increase between 2002 and 2003 is listed at approximately 281 million. Which means that of the two million more people in the United States over one year span - only half of them got to have insurance. Or, if they did, someone else lost out in their place.

Based just on the 283 million people and 45 million uninsured numbers - 1 in just over 6 people are living without health insurance in America right now. Some of which (about 5% of the uninsured) are children.

And those insurance companies are getting big bucks out of those who do have it, and then screwing the doctors who turn and hike the prices - gack! Captitalism again.

To me, this means 1 in 6 people who might get turned away at a hospital if their need is not considered an "emergency". 1 in 6 people who might need healthcare but can't "afford" to have it. 1 in 6 people who might have to declare bankruptcy if an emergency situation might fall upon them.

I heard a story recently of someone who had that happen to them. Sick with the flu and other pre-existing conditions and suffering terribly without family to help care for them, they went to the hospital for help. The hospital turned the person away.

I know of another situation where a woman recently got a job after a long search, but benefits hadn't kicked in yet when she suddenly required surgery. So now, just as she and her husband thought they were about to get back on their feet, they are going to have medical bills up the ass to deal with first. It may be another year before they can start to get some savings again.

I know of another family without insurance too - mine. My hubby is changing jobs right now and we're caught in that in-between state while we wait to see if the new one comes through. Every sniffle out of my child is under scrutiny right now as I worry over what happens to us if illness strikes. We've been without insurance before, and only barely managed to avoid bankruptcy because of it. But when you are in pain, you'll hand them the damn credit card if it's the only way to receive treatment. It's when you start wondering if they'd literally take an arm or a leg that you know it's gotten bad.

Not to mention, in my own experience, they treat you like shit when you don't have insurance. I felt like a fucking number the last time. Half the doctors I tried refused to even talk to me. Aparently, if you are unable to procure insurance for yourself, you are too low on the totem pole to be worth medical care.

People say that we have better doctors here in America than in other countries. That's all well and good if they are willing to bother with you. At least in countries with national heath care systems there is still health care available to you, regardless of your financial situation. But here, it's not a national community at all, but survival of the fittest. And apparently "fittest" means the one with the most ca$h. Whatever happened to this part of the Hippocratic Oath - "I will remember that I do not treat a fever chart, a cancerous growth, but a sick human being, whose illness may affect the person's family and economic stability. My responsibility includes these related problems, if I am to care adequately for the sick."

We rush to help other countries for all manner of reasons, but do we help our own? Nope. Not a chance of that here in the land of opportunity. I guess it must be better to let them die - one less person to step over on your way to the top!

Maybe if I asked politely, one of those other countries would give *us* aid? Hmmm.

Another unrelated point of note - did you ever notice we can call it a "war" on drugs, but when real soldiers are deployed it's a mere "conflict"? If only we cracked down on drugs the way we've dropped the shit down in the middle east! Why we could have it fixed in a matter of months, yes? Let's really put those generals to work!

Freeverse Ramble #1

Some moments
I can shut out
the noise of the world

It is in these moments that I see
deer, frolicking
beside a forest of trees
a carefree kitten playing
with the morning breeze
a small, innocent child
startled by a sneeze

These moments are
innocent.
pure.

They make me fill to bursting with joy.

Some moments
I let the world in
and the noise surrounds me

It is filled with anger and pain
greedy people stealing
from those who believe
angry people taking lives
from those who would bleed
selfish people who seem to think
the world should bend its knee

These moments are
corrupted.
vile.

They leave me weeping.

My own judge and jury.

I wasn't going to post about kt tonight. But I wanted to address a comment left on his site by Yolie recently:

"
See? That's what I'm talking about. I was speaking metaphorically, not saying that YOU have someone clean your house. It was used as a comparative analysis (got my college background out of the way).

When we play judge and jury to someone based on what they do, we should also take a look at our way of living and doing. Are we that inline with what someone might define as a "good" life?

What's a question of morality for you, may not be for others. If you agree with the death penalty, doesn't that speak to your morals and values? Death is death. Whether it be at the hands of a hit man or a licensed doctor administering a lethal injection."

In reference to the "clean house" thing, my reply was meant to indicate that I take responsibilty for my own actions. If I do not have the energy to clean my house just then (to continue your analogy), then the house does not get cleaned. It can wait, or perhaps it wasn't as dirty as I thought it was to begin with. I do not just whip out the yellow pages and find the nearest person I can pay to do it for me. In this, I am passing "judgment" you might say, on those who would hire someone to do their "dirty work" for them. They need to let go of their need to have that "house" cleaned and move on. Or, if they want it cleaned that badly, then they should get the 409 and washcloth out and deal with it themselves, the cowards. And deal with the consequences for their actions as a result.

That said, there are always exceptions. There are instances where the death penalty really ought to be applied. There are some people beyond help, for some reason inexplicable to me. I wish I could deny it, but I try not to hide my head entirely in the sand. I keep rubbing at it though. Boy does my scalp itch sometimes. Those who would murder people in a slow and brutal fashion, for example. Those who would kill innocent children. I have no tolerance for those people. Similar, yet in a different sense, to the soldiers who choose a risky path (as I mentioned in my comment on kt's blog), those people have made a choice too - they've chosen to commit a terrible crime. They've chosen poorly. And they should have to deal with the reprecussions of that choice, just as any soldier who is sent into a conflict has to deal with the possibility that they could be killed.

I do judge myself. Constantly. In fact I'm often told I am rather harsh when doing so. I hold myself to a higher standard. I may not stop for every stranded motorist, but I'm the type of person who runs after someone because they dropped a dollar bill on the grocer's floor. I'll talk to the lonely little old lady who asks me to get something down off the top shelf for her, because I know she a) can't reach it, and b) is lonely. We discard our elderly these days. They have so much wisdom to give us and we huddle them together in "retirement communities" and the like, where we forget about them until they waste away from being forgotten.

I judge myself on the standards of those who came before me. I judge myself on the standards I hope my child will grow to have. I judge myself on the standards of my perfectionist mother, even though she is no longer alive to be critical of me anymore. I judge myself on what I wish the world would be. How can I ever expect the rest of the world to care if I don't start caring first.

As for the question of whether or not my moral standing on the issue of murder is "moral" to others - I will say again that the majority has spoken. Look at the law books. Look at the religious texts. I am not alone in saying murder is wrong. The jury has spoken. And, if I wasn't already making the choice that murder is wrong. I have chosen to live in this country and try to follow its laws. So has kt. That doesn't mean we have to believe in the laws, but we aren't supposed to go around blatantly breaking them either.

Just don't get me started on traffic laws. Then the whole country would be against me. Except, perhaps, for the ones that decide the speed limits.

Oh, and I now have to go get a blogroll once I post this. In one of Yolie's posts, she sold me with the following line:

"If you’re still confused, I’ll be happy to arrange you a ride on the short bus. Meep. Meep."

I think it was the "Meep"s that got me really. You'll be first to go up on the blogroll for that one, Yolie!

Hold your child close, for his breath came from yours.

Okay, this article disturbs me. And since that's what this blog is really about, despite kt deciding this is his "fansite" (whatever, dude), I'm going to share. This is another example of someone who has overstepped the line of morality in my opinion.

The article talks about a guy who had himself a collection of child porn. It's not the high end of the age range that bothers me so much - I don't like it, but a sixteen-year-old isn't as horrible. Some people have been known to marry that young.

But a 3-year-old?

Who the fuck gets off at the idea, much less the goddamned footage, of a 3-year-old being raped?

NO!

For God's sake man! Get some anime or something, but don't give these fucked-up bastards an audience!

And how the hell did that child end up in such a situation in the first place? And who the hell could be so cruel as to rape a child?

I know. I'm breathing here, honest. But I'm pissed. I have an especially sore spot when it comes to hurting children. I think that is, by far, the worst possible sin. This story, which talks about a woman who killed her 11-month-old baby by cutting off her arms, for example, turns my stomach so hard it makes me want to vomit and cry all at once.

HOW COULD SHE???

Post-partum depression my ass! There is something seriously fucked up with that woman!

And the kid was 11 months. What could an 11-month-old possibly do to get her so upset that she would do something that horrible?

During the first three months after my son was born, I remember being exhausted and upset. The baby wouldn't stop crying. My hubby didn't get much time off work, and spent his vacation to stay a couple weeks at home but after that it was really rough. I remember times when he wouldn't stop crying and I could actually understand how some mothers could accidentally shake their baby. Fortunately, I had the presence of mind to always set the baby down somewhere safe and walk away for a while, to breathe and focus. I understand now why they reenforce that in the hospital after your baby is born. "Remember, never shake your baby," they told me. It was written on pamphlets they gave me too, in amongst the coupons and other stuff I sorted through when I got home. But the thing is - I didn't shake my baby. Not because of the warnings I received. But because I love him. He came from me. He's a part of me.

There wasn't a pamphlet that told me not to cut off my kid's arms though. And I wouldn't have thought to put one either. Why? Because I didn't think it was something anyone would ever really DO! Oh my God!

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

Okay, I feel better now.

I can't stand people hurting children. It's wrong on so many levels. I wish I could say that any mother would be able to back me up on this, but I'd apparently be wrong. At least if the statistics are any indication. Read them. They make me cry.

Have we all just become so stressed that we're letting our inner demons out? What? What is happening to people?

Dear God, Wherefore art thou?

Where has the morality gone? Someone please tell me that it still exists.

I need to address another comment made over on KillingTime by Amara:

One's morals and values belong to an individual; whatever KT considers to be moral is between him and God, and not really for the rest of us to make assumptions about. Who made YOU God and what makes you think morals HAVE to be discussed here? What good does it do to have an "holier than thou" attitude when it isn't going to change anything? Or when it doesn't affect you?

Now, first of all, if you pop by Amara's blog, you'll notice that one of the words she uses to describe herself (I'm making an assumption on the idea that "Amara" is a female, by the way) is "atheist". I just think that's an interesting thing to point out before we move on to the whole "God" thing.

My own beliefs are not conventional, to say the least. I believe we are all connected to one another. And we are all responsible for each other as well. As for God - well, that's a more complicated subject than I'd like to get into right now. I believe in God, just in a different way than most are accustomed to thinking.

There's a common thread of cynicism I see around me, where people seem to think that they can't make a difference by making their voice heard. Bullshit. Make your voice heard. You may find that the people around with you agree and that you making your voice heard will inspire them to do the same. Like wildfire, it spreads.

So I want to spread the word that people shouldn't kill each other? So what? A whole bunch of people suddenly come down on me for speaking my mind on the subject. Sorry, but I live in America - free speech, baby! Hell, it's one of the laws here that I can support. If kt has the right to talk about killing people for a living, I've got the right to stand up and say it's wrong.

Now, on the subject of morals overall - religion aside, we have put laws into effect, many of which supposedly reflect the majority in this country, and the morals of that majority. One of those laws is that you can't just go around killing people here. In fact most (although possibly not all) countries have laws in effect that say the same thing! I'd have to say that that reflects a majority decision from the global community that killing is, in fact, wrong.

Now, indeed, many of those laws stem from the same laws written into the religious "lawbooks" - or bibles if you will - throughout the world as well. Most religions condemn the taking of another life. That is part of why there is so much shock and dismay over what is happening in the middle east. Except there are still some religions that allow for "holy killings" - killing those who are not of their religion. On that, I have to disagree. I just don't see anyone getting to "heaven" or whatever they feel awaits beyond death, on a wave of blood and death. Not that kt is doing this as some sort of religious crusade, so I can't even stand back and say "Oh, but it's part of his religious beliefs" as some level of justification for what he does.

KT seems to want to make the distinction that many of the people he takes money to kill are bastards. Are they all? We see what he puts up there for us to read. How many people each are killed because they got in the way of some bastard and someone was willing to take money in exchange for offing that person? KT threw up statistics today on how many people died in Chicago in 2004. Kudos to the Chicago PD, whom I'm sure are greatly responsible for that decrease, as well as to those programs like Ceasefire out there trying to stop the violence. Sadness for those 449 who did die though - how many of those were children? And what about Catherine Coleman, the first murder victim of the year? According to the article kt links there, we're still averaging about 9 deaths per week. Just because it's better than last year, doesn't mean it's not still a problem.

Arson suggests that "no one is perfect", which is entirely true. However, I'm not asking kt to be perfect - that's impossible. I'm asking him to follow the rules of "right and wrong". I suspect that Arson, who has a small child of her own, is trying to teach that child the same values. I have a small child as well.

I will add that the only really "morally questionable" things I may have really ever done I keep in the bedroom and don't affect anyone other than my consenting hubby. And I'm not hurting anyone in the process either. How would you like to be the one on the other end of that gun though? What would you do if a hit man came for you? You'd question his morals then. I'd bet on it.

I find myself wondering what kt's fiance would think of what he is doing now. It's clear that she had issues of her own (he told us a while back that she killed herself), but I don't think she was the only unbalanced person in their relationship. KT says he can sleep just fine at night. I'm not so sure I'm sleeping so well living not far from Chicago. Not far from where a killer sleeps.

Coincidence?

Hey KT! Lose something?

Student finds gun inside Evanston elementary school

hmmm.

Just as a contrast, I've started looking to see what other blogs out there get me all worked up, that I normally wouldn't comment on with my usual internet handle. Time to power up my google mojo I guess.

In contrast, one of the first ones I came up with was The Blog of Death. Interesting. Basically an obit blog.

It seems there are still some people out there who care when people die.

I also came across this:


The Air Faerie... You are an interesting breed of
faeries, but the hardest of all to catch. This
is mostly because you don't know you're even
being chased, so easily distracted. You are
playful and hyper. Laughter is the best
medicine, that's your motto. Some see you as
airheaded, but really you aren't. You can be
intellegent when you want too, you'd just
rather play. Life is short, you make the best
of it.


What's your inner Faerie?
brought to you by Quizilla

Since this is a new blog, not connected in any way to my regular one (which actually tells people my real name and damn near lets them mapquest to my house), I'll have to settle for different measures in letting people in on my personality. Perhaps I'll do more of these little quiz things from time to time. Dunno.

If Jimmy jumped off a cliff, would you?

From a comment by kt on his blog, KillingTime:

Plenty of people have the balls to do their own killing.

It happens about 600 times a year here in Chicago alone.
Some of that is gang violence. Some is drug related. Some of it is stray shots from drive by shootings at random targets.

What about executives that decide to lay people off and have a lackey in HR do it so they don't have to see the faces of the people being canned?

What about lawyers that... OK, maybe I don't have to even finish that sentence.

People do things as bad or worse than murder all the time.

...

And that makes it - okay? Holy fuck! Gosh, I didn't know that because all the "cool" kids were doing it, going out and shooting someone had suddenly become this okay thing to do! Where can I get my machine gun, 'cause there's plenty of people out there who've pissed me off over the years. I've had people rip me off on countless occasions, for example, so I can go and shoot them now - right?

Just because the Chicago PD isn't able to take care of all the gang violence and drugs doesn't give someone the right to start up a fucking business killing people for a living.

Taking a weapon and purposefully killing someone with it is murder, folks! Thou shalt not kill. Remember that one anyone?

How absurd to find myself quoting from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"...

"Because it's wroooong."

And this guy even has the hypocrisy to go to church! He must be Catholic. They're the only religion I know where you can pay your way into salvation from your sins.

Morality

I find myself putting up a goddamned blog today. Why? So I can post on some killer's site, and attach an identity to it that isn't connected to me personally. So here it is. Perhaps I'll use it to discuss morality - something that kt appears to be lacking.

It's a sad, sad day that a "hit man" can have a web site and people do nothing more than give him condolences on the loss of his mother and advice for his damned cat.

I feel for Walther. But not for him.